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Thursday, November 03, 2005

Why Her? End note: What Does it Mean?

When I told one woman friend of my engagement with Jenny, her first respone was, "You could get almost anybody: entrepreneur, scientist, or supermodel. Why her?"

It wasn't said in a mean or petty way nor to flatter. She truly was curious.

And it was a good question which has been addressed in Part one, which covers the time we have spent together, Part two, which describes some of her attributes in the context of my expectations, and Part three, which describes our sexual connection.

What Does it Mean?
"The important thing is not to stop questioning."

If you've come this far, you have read a lot. You might ask: are these reasons why I am engaged to Jenny, or justifications?

It is difficult to objectively assess this. Context and people change. This is why we believe it important to commit to the relationship as much as, or more than the individual.

Whatever we may believe today, the important thing is not to stop questioning. Not to stop challenging with the truth. And to make this our religion of faith.

In fact, many of these so-called shared characteristics may not be so uncommon. For example, the relationship literature, whether scientific or literary, does indicate that a child-like phase is common early on in relationships, but it does not last. It is indicative of passing a trust barrier, when the two people in a relationship become comfortable with one another. And perhaps when it comes to romance, everybody has Aspergers Disorder. In short, I could be fooling myself in the same manner that a billion other people have done. Why should I be special?

But a closer look at the nature of this feeling does indicate some differences. And the combination of characteristics does seem statistically significant.

Conversely, could it be because others have not been as analytical about their feelings? Are they the same underlying pleasant irrationalities that are doomed to pass?

The extent of my response are a few quotes:

"It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves"

"I have the rest of my life to find out."

and one I've used before on this very blog:

"...until the day when God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words: wait and hope."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love that you seem so detached when blogging about your various sexploits, and morph into this sweet little tinkerbell when blogging about Jenny. It's nice to see some tenderhearted optimism underneath the cynical macho front.

Congratulations and Commiserations on commiting the ultimate sin of matrimony, and awaiting further posts.

- an Armchair Shrink

11/11/2005 12:31 PM  

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