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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Sam I Am

My name is Sam.green_eggs_ham[1]

I am not yet the writer that Sigmund is. I will never fill his shoes. I learn fast. I have read a lot of his posts. But I am not his style. I am Hemingway to his Faulkner. For example, I am working on longer sentences.

Sigmund wrote about how we met in an earlier post. My version is simpler. Most people I knew told me to meet Sigmund. Meeting him was not optional. Also, most places I went they knew about him. It was difficult to escape comparisons with him. I would have to do business in Sri Lanka to avoid him. Though even there I would not be surprised to see his cloven hoof print.

In some ways I am a follower of Sigmund. I started in America. I went to school in the United States at an early age. I was a successful investor. I decided to learn business in Asia. I took an economic and investor approach to relationships.

In some ways I am different from Sigmund. I have more Europe experience than Sigmund. I am less private. I am younger, more uppity, and much more handsome!

So we met. I was predisposed to dislike him. But he was charming at the first meeting. But we discussed nothing of substance, just business. Subsequently I met several of his business associates. And later on, I met him in Japan as he noted. I still was predisposed to dislike him. I thought he had blown me off. (He later told me that he had.) But this discussion was different. He had amazing stories. His journey was the one I was on. It was the start of many interesting discussions.

Sigmund told me not to write about him or Jenny. “Keep your words, like your hands, to yourself!” he said. But I never listen very well to others. So I will say a few things:

1. Sigmund is smart. I’ll joke that I am smarter. But I am not.

2. Sigmund has made a huge amount of money. But most people would not guess that. Because he keeps giving it away. Most people think he is strange in the way he does this. It’s as if he likes making money but hates keeping it.

3. Everybody thinks Sigmund is this really nice guy. But he is utterly ruthless in business. I yearn to learn how he does this.

4. Women either don’t know Sigmund or really like him. I’m not sure why. But he always seems clueless about it. This drives Jenny crazy.

5. Sigmund works too hard. Everybody tells him this. But then he works harder. It makes everybody else look bad. So we hate him for it. This also drives Jenny crazy.

This blog is about relationships. Why am I writing here?

Sigmund says my experiences exploring relationships was a lot like his. But the directions I took were very different. I agree. He thought my different responses to similar stimuli would interest his readers. I also think he felt guilty he was not blogging. So that’s why I am writing here.

I was profiled in New York Times Magazine article. The article is online here. It is about sugar daddies and sugar babies – rich men and beautiful women – meeting through a website called Seeking Arrangement. I dislike the term “sugar daddy” but the article is accurate. The part about me starts here. I am Sam.

If you read the article you will see how I am similar to and different from Sigmund in attributes and approach. You will also see places where I shamelessly stole opinions from him:

He has an almost mathematical approach to assessing relationships, and once even computed the costs for a girlfriend, mistress, prostitute and wife — mistresses turn out to be most expensive by the hour; wives, by the year; girlfriends are cheapest all around.

My results with my arrangements were mixed. I will describe that later. In subsequent posts I will cover some history of my adventures in sex and relationships, what the writer of the Times article described as:

Sam has tried long-term girlfriends, mistresses, prostitutes and a brief marriage.

I will describe my current approach and why I like it, what the article states as:

A monogamous business-associate-with-benefits deal in which he pursues an entrepreneurial project with a young, beautiful, intelligent woman. He provides financial backing, mentoring and networking; she provides sex, fun and, inevitably, a bit of worshiping, all of which make him feel virile and influential. […]

Sam runs these relationships with an explicit business plan, a set budget, measurable goals and quarterly reviews. From the outset, the contract has an end date. It’s a brilliant, if contrived, way to protect his pride. The contract specifies that the romance and sex are to end by the preset date, so there’s no break up, no rejection, no bruised ego. She’s not dumping him; the gig’s just over.

I will also cover some current events.

I would enjoy questions from any readers, either through blog comments or email. I am new to this, after all.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice to see a post on this blog even if it's not from Sigmund. Looking forward to future posts.

10/29/2009 2:59 AM  
Blogger Sam Spayed said...

Thank you. Feedback is welcome.

11/02/2009 2:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Question: have you ever been in love and how would you define it?

11/12/2009 6:24 AM  
Blogger Sam Spayed said...

Frequently in love. Married once. Love is defined by the creation of irrational behavior. Associated with a desire for closeness, intimacy, sharing, sacrifice, and commonality.

11/17/2009 3:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If that is the broad formula for love, how does it play into the Arrangement? I understand the stake that you put in - money upfront, over a continued period of time, and at the end but where is the sacrifice in it?

It seems like the Arrangement both sacrifices possible long term happiness while minimizing actual loss. The clear end date might preclude any chance of having a sustained love, unless you renew an Arrangement (which I guess defeats the purpose of having a termination date.) Has anyone ever tempted you enough to renew? Where do you see the sacrifice aspect of love fitting into the Arrangement, or do you?

The Arrangement seems to place a limit on irrational behavior (I don't mean impulse trips or gifts) but I'm curious as to how tightly scripted the contracts are. What is included, precluded, excluded?

I'd be interested in reading more stories about the above and I have a request for stories about interviews for the Arrangements - I suspect those would be enlightening and/or funny.

11/29/2009 3:52 AM  

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