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Monday, November 02, 2009

I’m not Sigmund

sigmund2[1] samiam[1]

You can see a difference, yes?

My experiences are also different.

Sigmund was a geek. I was not as much so. Sigmund grew up in a small town. I grew up in a big city. In his school they called him oriental and made fun of him. In my school I was Asian. We had Asian gangs. I had Asian friends. It was different.

My experience with women was also different. Like Sigmund I could not date in high school. I would not date most of my college years, too. I was too young. And like him I was very interested in women. But unlike Sigmund I found ways to hang out with girls. I tutored them. I advised them. I fixed things. I befriended them. I had memberships to health clubs, social clubs, movie clubs… I would try anything that would let me be with girls.

The fairer sex appreciated me. They were generally mistreated by men. They liked the way I treated them. Respectfully. Non threatening. Always looking to help out. Generous. Vigilant for ways to improve their lives using advice. Brokering new eye-opening experiences.

Because sex with them was out of the question I focused on experiences. If I couldn’t give them a good time in bed, where else could I give a good time? Boats. Magnificent vistas. Hiking. Flying. Sky diving. SCUBA. One on one sports. Impromptu travel. A view. A thrill. A new place. A new feeling. This I could provide. I became a dealer of experiences.

After undergraduate I was dateable. Now things changed very fast. I had money and invested well. I treated women well. I had many friends who were women. The combination was very rare. I became very popular.

Fast forward. Skip a few years. Work success. Dating success.

I got married. Too many women around to resist for long. But too early, too stupid, too bad, a foolish mistake. It cost me a small fortune. But by that time I had a large one. So it was ok.

Fast forward. Skip some more years. Work success. Dating failures.

Empty searching. New approaches. Odd combinations: paying girlfriends, dating prostitutes, platonic friend to strippers, sexual degrader to brilliant students. But then I stumbled upon a combination that worked. The Arrangement.

The New York Times reporter captured The Arrangement, but imperfectly.

It is a business approach to a relationship. It creates shared but distinct incentives for the woman and me. It is efficient. It protects feelings. It is contractual and consensual. It respects the financial power I have, and the sexual power a woman has. It does not interfere with my work. It does not interfere with a woman’s goals. It embodies honest communications. It works for me.

And I will describe it in a future post.

A series of Arrangements consumed several years. I found the relationships productive. I was proud of them. The New York Times reporter said I was “like Pygmalion, smitten with his own creations.” That is true. It is a kind of after-relationship love. Yes, a lot of it stems from a self love. But I feel that it is a very honest love. And the pride in my past relationships can endure for a long time. I think.

My fourth Arrangement was done differently. I worked with a Sugar Daddy Internet website. It had some positives and negatives. More on that later.

So that brings us to the present.

I am not Sigmund. I made many mistakes he did not. And I experiences things he did not. This overview is a baseline. I hope it helps to understand future writings.

Sam I am.

2 Comments:

Anonymous A bored bored Asian American feminist said...

Thank you for reviving this blog. I really missed all the tales of debauchery and intrigue, the humor and the sex. Looking forward to your tales and lessons, Sam. Write on.

11/12/2009 6:11 AM  
Blogger Sam Spayed said...

I will enjoy your comments. Especially as a feminist. And as an Asian American.

11/17/2009 3:42 AM  

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