Mistresses/Courtesans

I'm not a patron of only high end providers. But I do like the long-term meetings, high end or otherwise. I do not enjoy hour-long physical transactions, but prefer a half-day or week-long rendezvous. I even have made friends this way. Some providers do not share my like for the mind-sharing experience and prefer keeping the relationship to the short duration, physical intercourse. But they are not for me.

But what about mistresses?

I had some meetings this week that made me think of this:

Several threads on the Internet have mentioned (c.f. in particular the High Dollar Hotties forum on ASPD), sometimes wistfully, the old tradition of courtesans. These were women of intelligence and power who would have long-term lovers that supported their independent lifestyles. In some European countries, the concept of mistress is still popular, which usually involves an even longer-term and deeper commitment.

Every now and again I will meet a provider who has moved a half-step into this realm. Some decide to remove themselves from general circulation and stay within a small circle of favorite patrons. A group of a half dozen to two dozen regular patrons can provide a regular income without excessive risk. I know of a very popular provider that does this. She publically retired and for about two years has kept with a group of about eight regulars. While she is not enjoying the revenues she used to have when she was in broader circulation, she felt happier in this situation, and found it more manageable with her other work, social and personal activities (she usually also has a boyfriend). I am not one of those eight regulars, but met her socially as a kind of friend, most recently this past week. I will come back to her in a moment.

I often will see a mistress situation, where a woman is exclusively dedicated to one man (or perhaps two men) who supports her lifestyle. I bought property from one such woman, who was a mistress to a government minister in Europe when she was in her late teens and early twenties. When I met her she was in her late fifties. She took her savings from Europe and invested in real estate in the US. Interestingly, she is still a mistress, consorting with an American real estate tycoon who is married, but does not live with his wife. She is well educated, very well-spoken, and her vocation was an utter surprise to me.

Of course I more often see it from the other side, with a business associate who might have a mistress and a wife.

Most often, mistresses do not evolve from a provider, although I have seen that happen also: a friend of mine fell in love with a provider (always a mistake) but could not bring himself to leave his wife and family for her. He strongly recommended her to me (weird step number one) as a highly educated courtesan. Indeed she was: literate, well-spoken, PhD candidate, critical thinker, and extremely intelligent. Then he recommended that we split her living expenses to take her off the market (weird step number two.) He knew that he could not afford to do this alone, but he could with me. So based solely on one meeting with her, many emails and phone conversations, and (mostly) his strong word, I did this thing, and inherited half-support of a provider, who was now a shared mistress. She had friends and her studies, lived in a separate town, but was available to us when needed.

It was an interesting experience. Even though I was unmarried, it was quite unlike a girlfriend. I had experienced supporting more than one girlfriend (see previous posts). It usually ends badly, since the asymmetry places tremendous stress on the relationship, but I've supported girlfriends at levels ranging from zero to one hundred percent support. One of these girlfriends is getting married this spring. (You guessed it: I received the invitation this week.) But this was different: a mistress was much more focused on me, and like the old adage of why you pay a prostitute: to go away, the mistress understood that she had to have her own life apart from you, and the goal wasn't to work toward "forever."

Well, that arrangement ended badly also, but for entirely different reasons.

This past week I was introduced to a mistress seeking a patron. She was a mistress for a wealthy corporate executive for several years. Due to his family circumstances they decided to amicably part ways. She feels that she is good at being a mistress, and feels good about being one. For example, she feels she helped his relationship with his family. She is not a provider and does not want to become one. She is well-educated, had some very impressive creative management jobs, and is an excellent conversationalist. She had met an acquaintance of mine who found her fascinating, but was unable to patronize her. He had suggested to her that she split her time among several people, but she preferred an exclusive arrangement. So, knowing something of my situation, he referred her to me. She mentioned that she "fell into" being a mistress; she never intended it but was introduced to her patron.

I find this interesting. It's a spectrum of mistress and courtesan situations that all came to my attention (or were reminded to me) this past week.

Now let's go back to the first girl I mentioned, who has the circle of about eight patrons. She is thinking of even retiring from that. I thought of discussing with her the idea of becoming a mistress. So now we get to my question for the providers. What do you think of that? Would you ever consider becoming a mistress? Would the ability to have a deeper commitment and more predictable relationship make it more satisfying? Or would the notion of being exclusive and unable to sample variety and yet not a girlfriend or wife be the worst of both worlds?

Asians in NYC and Singapore

I went to NYC. It was cold with a little snow on the ground in Manhattan. When I arrived I had dinner at Jean Georges. I fondly remembered Samantha and Paulina, my long-retired previous NYC regulars. Could it be more than five years ago? Longer? They were great dinner dates: pretty, smart, and great conversationalists. As different as night and day in looks and personality, but great. I knew them for a year at most before they retired, and alas, have never found a regular quite like them. Prettier, certainly. Smarter? Sure, in my line of work I meet smart women. But that combination of pretty, smart, fun to be with, fun to show off, and at the end of the night makes love with unbelievable skill... and available?! well, I'm still looking.

I again tried and failed to hook up with Shannon. After perusing UtopiaGuide I ended up taking an Asian gal to dinner and Hairspray on Broadway. The show exceeded my expectations. I don't remember the John Waters movie that well, but I think the play was much better. I also found out that Hairspray had its debut in Seattle.

The girl was a cutie, kind of like dating a Japanese anime character.

Then off for a short business trip in Singapore. Just a couple of days there, not enough time to jetlag. I flew to LA and took the new afternoon Singapore Airlines A345 non-stop from LA to Singapore. It's a brand new A340-500 plane that is (allegedly) the longest non-stop commercial flight at 18.5 hours.

I've always had a fantasy of picking up a Singapore Airlines flight attendant. In US airlines, first class cabin overseas routes are allocated by seniority, so you usually end up with an older "flight attendant." In the Asian airlines they assign the young and attractive "stewardesses" who are trying to marry a regular first-class businessman. So when flying to Asia in an upper class cabin, you must take an Asian airline.

Unfortunately although it's possible to flirt with the stewardesses, some lack of right attitude on my part seems to stymie the fulfillment of my fantasy. So I remain alone in my SpaceBed with the DVD players and the flat screens. No mile high club on this trip, and I'm in Changi two days later, courtesy the Earth rotating the wrong way.

Meetings and more meetings and the weather is 90 degrees.

But there is some time to catch a little recreation. I have never tried the sex trade in Singapore. Singapore has several zones for prostitution. The brothels range from relatively standard brothels to massage parlors to discos to karaoke bars. Solicitation is illegal, but prostitution is not within these zones. But I talk to my favorite concierge who outlines some interesting in-room options. In particular he recommends a service that is known for "young, healthy, high-class girls". So I line up an appointment for late that evening. I take a nap and wake up in the evening. I decide to take a trip to a karaoke brothel. I arrive and I am instantly popular. Ok, my wallet is popular, but I can deceive myself. This is the way the bar scene OUGHT to work, I am the hunted. This is what it must feel like to be a beautiful woman. I am not there to find a gal, just to get in the mood. I have several thrilling gropes with beautiful women, and find my way back to the hotel, hoping that I will not have buyers' remorse because some of those bar gals seemed pretty hot.

Back at the hotel I order up some bath accessories and make ready the drink paraphenalia. Exactly on time I receive the call to my appointment and head down to the hotel bar, a super-classy place. In there I meet a man and two very beautiful women. They are indeed young and goddamned healthy (I refrained from checking their gums and hooves). Neither speak much English; their vocabulary seems to be garnered exclusively from MTV... but they are unbelievably sexy. The man asks me which one I like better. Well, I can't help myself, hell, I can barely think with the teak wood I'm sporting at this bar, so I beg him to let me take both of them even though I only asked for one girl. The man smiles knowingly. He obviously does this expecting to double his business. He tells me they are sisters "who kiss all the time" and promises they will be very good to me. He is very friendly. He has a shit-eating grin. He has an overnight rate ready.

(I dimly recall not thinking about the rate, which I realize now that my brain has its full blood supply... was steep.)

The transaction is completed discreetly, and I have these two stunning girls to escort to my room. I mix some drinks in the room. I find over the course of the evening that these gals easily finish off a bottle of liquor.

I discover that they are not sisters, but this did not surprise me.

I also discover they are quite young, and this DOES surprise me. Now Singapore is this country where they'll jail you for oral sex, cane you for spitting on the sidewalk, and kill you for having narcotics, so I take a time out to make a call to confirm that indeed what I am doing is legal. As it turns out, the age of consent is 14 for women if you are married to them, and 16 if you are not. So boffing a 16 year old is ok, but oral sex with a 30 year old will land you in jail. Male homosexuality is illegal. But lesbianism is ok as long as it is in private. Go figure.

I embark upon the first menage a trois where I'm older than the combined ages of my partners.

Ok, so I'm with two teenagers who are getting drunk and horny, and seem to enjoy each other's company. Not a bad beginning to the evening. I'd call it a high school fantasy. I can even pretend they are sisters competing to see who gets me across the finish line first. The chemistry of conversation wasn't there, but, hey... what's there to talk about? They are all high energy and giggles. Their skills were impressive for the tender age, but not par with the older Asian ladies who've been around. You know those ladies... the ones that can exercise absolute control over your body with their pinkie, have grips that can shake, pulse, twirl, vibrate and do other unnatural things, and can coax seed from a dead man in a face-down position. But my teenage gals are enthusiastic, their bodies are so smooth and young, and everything seems so novel and innocent.

We spend the evening together, taking a bath, watching a movie, fooling around, getting food, taking a shower, and so on. We only broke one Singaporean law that night, although we were all repeat offenders. Then they slept while I worked on a presentation. In the morning they showered with me, fooled around some more, had breakfast, and then left.

I felt like crying. Ok, not really, and honestly it wasn't THAT great. The two hours with a Seattle-area duo a few months back was far more exciting. This was a kind of forbidden eye candy.

I don't think I would repeat.

Then some business meetings, to the airport, sleep on the plane to Los Angeles, and back to Seattle.

And I'm back.

My Cannes trip is cancelled, there is a lawsuit involved... long story. So I'll be Stateside for this month.