Avoiding Temptation

My life has a way of casting sexual temptations my way. This blog has discussed some of them, but even if you remove all the cases where I was looking for trouble, my business — in particular business in Asia — exposes me to many temptations.

Whereas at the start of this blog my goal was to gain exposure to diversity in sex and relationships, it is no longer. So what to do?

Generally speaking, flying around starting companies is busy work, and there isn’t much time for hanky-panky. Although I meet a lot of people, often in one on one environments, most of them are old and male. For whatever reason, perhaps a topic for another post, there aren’t many attractive young women in positions of power. So I don’t meet tempting women in the course of business. The Angels and some others like them are an exception, but even they were in positions that weren’t very powerful, at the call of more powerful men, and, frankly, rare. Women of power I have met, for example in China, are usually older and not at all tempting. Of course I may meet an attractive secretary, staffer, or other underling, but they hold less attraction for me, possibly because they have a niche that is easy to find uninteresting. (But I’ll blog more about this later.)

So that’s the good news.

The bad news is that business among the powerful in Asia — being as dominated as it is by what we would call male chauvinists or, perhaps more generously, males and their society both more in touch with their base needs — is full of young attractive women ready to cater to your sexual cravings in nearly every way imaginable. It creates an environment of temptation that is almost inconceivable to a Westerner who isn’t blessed with the name Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Now it is true that for certain kinds of people in the West similar services are available, but you have to seek it out. It doesn’t happen as part of the ordinary course of a dinner, drinks, and a business deal. And the fact that alcohol is such an ingrained part of the business culture doesn’t help in one’s self control — not that drinking is any excuse for bad behavior, but it does provably lower inhibitions and resolve and thereby increase risk. The casual cultural acceptance of sexual services can also erode your psychological outlook on sex. Although there is evidence that Asia gave me more confidence with women, I did not want to end up with the jaded attitudes of some of my Asian business acquaintances. There is reason to be quite concerned about the on-going temptation “drag force” I was subjected to as an ordinary course of business in Asia.

The solution was simple, although risky in its own way:

I put all my Asian business dealing in the hands of The Man.

As of this past month I have transitioned my major Asia-related contacts and dealings to The Man. And I have shifted my own focus to helping The Man hire other senior executives to manage those endeavors. Beyond that, no more Asian business meetings. Or at least, far fewer of them.

It is a big step and the repercussions are yet unknown. Some people have been surprisingly supportive. Mark, for example, was sad to see a drinking buddy disappear, but happy to know it was for a good reason. He remains very supportive. Park was floored, but mused that perhaps it was time for him to consider a simliar move (the probability of which I rate similarly to that of his choosing to be castrated.) Other reactions ranged from “amused with my reasoning” to “thunderstruck with disbelief.” A-san flatly bet me a princely sum of money that I could not stick to the plan. Perhaps he would prefer to earn a return on that money in my fund?

So... is this all part of the domestication of Sigmund? Or his retirement?

Or is it evolution in action — to become a better thing for myself and others? To find a new niche in a new ecosystem?

Well, there is another plan for broadening sexual horizons. More shared pleasure than hedonism. So with regards to that aspect of Asia perhaps this is less about farewell than au revoir...