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Sunday, June 19, 2005

Getting Jaded: Massages Here, There, and Everywhere

I wrote about an amazing massage experience with May last year.

I should catch you up, although this is out of sequence.

May wasn't my last visit to that location, and others. There are approximately a zillion massage places in Asia. They are disguised as spas, sports facilities, barber shops, bars, karaoke rooms, taxi services, driving services, cleaning services, and almost anything else you can imagine.

No, I haven't tried them all. Haven't had the time.

But in terms of the high end massage places I wrote about, yes, I tried it a few more times. But I never had an experience as dramatic as what I had with May, although on average the experiences were quite good. Park raved about another gal, Kola, but I was never able to meet her before she retired. Now she's back in action, but I'm out of play. He swears she is the best he's had in Asia. More on that later.

It is so amazing how easy it is to get sexually serviced in Asia. It really is quite mind-boggling. Okay, it may be a little tougher if you don't speak the language, especially in Japan where they discriminate most heavily, but it's still possible.

In fact, it is so easy, I argue it takes a lot of the fascination right out of sex.

Yep, I said it.

Around November or so of 2004, I started to have a very different view on sex, and it wasn't a good one. For one thing, it was so easy to obtain mind-blowing sex as a service, that I started to participate less in the pleasure of my partner. It was too much "lay back and enjoy the ride."

It was a subtle thing at first.

Part of the issue came from the transactional nature of the sex act. If you have two or three hours, why not use it all for your pleasure? The gal certainly seems to want that. You can get an extra wash, massage, facial, pedicure, or whatever in that time.

It's a dangerous thing. For one thing, it would seem that civilians can't compete with the sexual skill and (maybe) athleticism of these pros.

As an aside, many years ago I met a woman in the San Francisco area. She was talking about how a friend of hers went to an Asian massage parlor in the Tenderloin area. His comment to her was that the Asian gal got him off within minutes, despite his trying to hold back. Her comment to him was, "Of course, she's a professional. You're an amateur." I bring this up because those same girls in San Francisco were unable to get me off. So I was skeptical about the skills of so-called "professionals." As I noted elsewhere, the real difference is whether there is sufficient stability for the women to really get trained. Without the training and the seniority system, whether paid or not, it's just natural talent. To go beyond that, you need training.

So nobody was quite like May. For one thing, Park was always trying to impress me by getting me the youngest, prettiest girls. But they were often the least well-trained, or least interested in training.

But back to the jadedness...

I was becoming quite concerned that I would be unable to have a civilian relationship because I would be utterly addicted to the "May experience." Would this difference, between the rent to own and payment plan, be my undoing?

I'll jump to the end: the answer is no. What it does, however, is drive a huge separation between physical sex and emotional sex. It is easy to be emotionally confused about physical sex, and vice versa, but as I will describe over the next few posts, for me they can be made quite distinct.

I am convinced it is the only way to survive in a world where sex is so easy to obtain. No, not just easy to obtain, but pushed upon you...


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